See the thing is, I have this bicycle ride planned. Just a little one. Oh, a hundred miles or so. And several miles of that is some wicked hill climbing. Standing over 6 feet and weighing in at around 210 pounds, means I’m just too freaking large to push myself up those hills. I gotta lose weight. About 15 pounds I figure at least. That combined with weight training and a ton of cardio should give me what I need to do this ride without my heart and lungs exploding.

Now that the holidays are over I’ve been lifting and watching my diet and stuff, but I’m approaching 42 years old and let’s face it, the body just does not burn fat like it used to. So I need some extra oomph. So I’m taking on P90X in addition to my cycling. I’ve got 6 months to get in the best shape I’ve ever been in.

I’m determined to succeed!

The ride started off well, we got on the road at 6am for a 23 mile jaunt through town and into the foothills to the infamous first climb of the day: Wildcat Grade. It also happened to be the place where I got my first flat tire of the day. Luckily the group that organizes this ride is VERY organized and a dude pulled up in a pickup with a bike stand, tools, and plenty of tubes. It took him about 5 minutes to fix me up and get me back on the road. These guys are awesome! So with a new tire it was time to climb Wildcat. Wildcat is only 3.5 miles long but is extremely steep. I knew it would be the most difficult climb of the day for me. But I managed to get up it and stopped at the summit for the first rest stop.

After a brief rest, it’s 3.5 miles down the back of Wildcat at speeds of around 40Mph. It’s amazing how much more fun it is to go downhill than it is coming up! We had heard some bad news though about a rider who had a cow run out into the road so we were a little cautious. Apparently he hit the cow pretty hard and broke his collar bone. Cycling is dangerous! I had a little scare with a farm animal myself, dodging a rooster who was goofing off in the road. After that though, it was mostly smooth sailing until the turn to head up Burrough Valley road.

This is where I got my next flat. I was trailing Doug and we noticed a clicking sound coming from his wheel. I came up behind him and saw something sticking out of his tire. We stopped to take a closer look and realized it was a safety pin! It was at that point I realized my back tire was going flat again, so we were both going to need to do a change. We had the equipment to do the job but lucky for us, a support vehicle came buy with spare tubes and a real pump. We spent 15 minutes fixing the bikes and then went on to kill the long grinding climb to the next rest stop.

At the stop we ran into our buddy Roderick from church who was working the stop. He’s a great dude and it was cool seeing a familiar face. We rested and chatted a bit and then headed out.

From there the route goes up to Hwy 168, over to Prather an then down to Millerton lake. At this point we were started to feel the burn and Dave was cramping up. We made it to the Millerton rest stop to power up, but it was now 100° and we were really starting to feel fatigued. With only 13 miles to go though, we weren’t about to quit.

We started the decent to the city and honestly, this is where the ride got extremely tough. The heat was becoming unbearable and every little climb felt like a mountain. Once I reached the city, I was thanking God for flat ground but even then it was a chore to pedal. My legs just didn’t have anything left, the heat was draining me of my energy, and to top it off, I was up against a headwind. It honestly felt like I was just letting the weight of my legs push the pedals down because I could not muster enough of my own strength to really crank hard.

We finally pulled up to the finish line 6 hours and 15 minutes after beginning our trek. This was over an hour faster than we had planned for ourselves and that felt really good, especially with the long rests we had at the rest stops.

Final thoughts? I am stoked. 8 weeks after I bought my first bike, I managed to complete a 71 miler. I am very pleased with how we did and now we have a benchmark for next year. It’s been an outstanding time of training and fellowship and I’m really glad I took on this hobby.

So now I’m just kicking it with a cheeseburger and a beer. No more dieting today, it’s time to celebrate!

We started at the Vista Point at Henley lake about 30 minutes late due to goof #1 by Google maps. It tried to lead us up 41 to a Rd 207 but neglected to tell us that Rd 207 has a gate about 10 miles into it which means you can’t get to the lake that way. So we had to turn back and take 145.

Goof #2 happened early into the ride as Google Maps tried to lead us down a dirt road. Road bikes don’t play well in the dirt! So we had to back track, adding about 6 miles to the route as you can see in the map.

Once we got those two things out of the way, things went pretty smooth. There’s a lot of gentle climbing on this route which is a great workout and there’s also some wicked downhills. I’m still not used to getting up to 30 or 40 mph on a bicycle, but I’m slowly getting addicted to it.

The only bad part was that right as I finished my ride, my rear tire burst. That’s the 7th time in 6 weeks. Something is definitely wrong with that wheel. I took it to Rubber Soul and they were super cool about it and put some new tape on and gave me a free tube. I’m hoping we can figure out what’s causing this and fix it.

Jim ended up popping a spoke toward the end and blowing a tire as a result. I had to get in the truck and go get him but he wasn’t too far from the finish.

Other than that, we had a great ride. Now it’s time for a shower, a nap, and then it’s off to the roller derby match tonight!!!

Now everyone thinks bicyclists are weird, let’s face it. We see them on the side of the road wearing goofy pants and those dumb jerseys with all those phony sponsors printed on them. And what’s up with the lame helmets?

Well, what I’m finding out is that everything goofy about bicycling is goofy for a reason. And 9 times out of 10 that reason is weight, the rest is for comfort. When you’re on a bike trudging up a 10% grade, every ounce you have to carry up with you sucks energy out of you. So everything you see in the biking world is pretty much slimmed down and made as light as possible. You’re also rarely on a bike during a serious ride for less than several hours, so a pair of Dickies with a belt-chain and some Vans are not going to cut it.

So it’s been interesting doing some rides and learning the ins and outs of bike gear. I’ve already gotten special shorts, shoes, gloves, helmet, and I’m about to buy a jersey. I just can’t get myself to wear those skin tight spandex shorts and the crazy Tour De France jersey though, so I got mountain bike shorts instead and I found a jersey that is black with some cool designs on it. I have to maintain at least a little of my finely tuned rebellious exterior, you know?

I’m totally hooked on cycling though that’s for sure and I’m continuing on my goal of riding a century by June, though it looks like it will turn out to be 100 km instead of a 100 miles, mainly because the only 100 mile ride nearby in June is a wicked ride up the mountains and I just don’t think my legs will be strong enough by then for that kind of climbing. But I’m planning on participating in a 71 miler with some friends from church and I can certainly live with that accomplishment.

Until then it’s all about training. I’m planning on doing about 15 miles at least 3 nights a week, alternating with weight training and then we have 25-40 mile rides planned every saturday starting this weekend.

If I don’t kill myself I figure I’ll be in dynamite shape when all is said and done.

It seems like when you hit 40, things just start to fall apart. I’m not joking, I honestly think there’s a genetic time bomb that goes off when you leave your thirties. In the last two years, I’ve had to start wearing reading glasses (on top of my contacts), I swear my hairline is receding, and it’s nearly impossible to burn off weight. Just five years ago I could switch to salads for 3 days and lose ten pounds. These days I have to consume nothing but water and sprouts and workout 5 days a week just to break even.

Alright, that’s an exaggeration, but it’s a fact that the body just does not burn calories the way it did 5 or 10 years ago, and I think what’s compounding the problem is that the exercise I get, while its more than most people get, is just not enough to keep up with my slowing metabolism. So what am I to do to remain the molten hot hunk of burning rock and roll that I am? Liposuction? Tummy tuck? Butt lift? Corvette?

I decided to buy a bike. Here’s the deal; I like the gym, but I only like lifting weights at the gym. Treadmills suck (and my knees suck more), and ellipticals and stationary bikes are WAY too boring. Sitting there in one position for an hour watching Oprah is just torture. I need to be out and about. I need a reason to get out of the house, so I’m taking up bicycling, and it’s going to be rad.

I haven’t decided what kind of bike I want yet. But I want something fast. And it’s gotta have speeds. Yeah speeds. A lot of them. It’s amazing how many bike styles are out there now. You can’t  just go buy a Schwinn Stingray with a cool sissy bar and tassles on the grips and be done with it any more. They have all kinds of crazy stuff out there now and it’s mondo expensive! I mean, these bikes go for thousands of dollars! THOUSANDS of dollars for bent metal. It’s amazing. Somebody is making some serious money in the bike industry. So I have some research to do but right now I’m leaning toward a traditional road bike (us old codgers used to call them “ten speeds” back in the 70′s) and I’ll probably spend more along the lines of $400 or so. I’m not Lance Armstrong after all.

So watch out for me out on the road, wearing spandex, a goofy helmet with a rear-view mirror on it, and a jersey with all kinds of sponsors on it who obviously are not sponsoring me. Please don’t run me over, and I’d appreciate it if you don’t laugh and/or throw stuff at me as you drive by either.