24 Years

Today is me and my wife’s 24th Wedding Anniversary. I know, I know, that’s a long time. The sad thing though is that people react with either complete shock, or with a big pat on the back for the accomplishment. I think that’s sad. It’s sad that marriage in this country is in such poor shape that 24 years is the exception. It should be the rule. 24 years should be so commonplace that when you announce it, everyone should say “big deal, tell me when you hit 50”.

The second thing most people want to know is how we did it. Well, that’s not an easy question to answer. It’s easy to spew some psycho-babble about this or that, but here’s what I think. I think we chose wisely to begin with. Michelle and I both have very relaxed personalities, and we don’t get riled over little stuff very easily. We also have similar morals and religious beliefs so we’re usually headed in generally the same direction when decisions need to be made. And so I think we had a much easier time getting along all these years.

But the biggest challenges to marriage are that people change over time and people are basically selfish. Most people view their partner the same way they view a car or an iPhone. It’s something that makes ME happy. So when people change as they age, people get tired of the same old thing. They miss the rush of the new and exciting.  So they go out and find someone new to get that back. It’s a very selfish mindset. And I think everyone has entertained that mindset at some level if you’ve been married for any length of time.

But I think we made it through those challenges because of the teachings of Jesus. I know that’s going to sound lame and cliche to a lot of people, but the bottom line is Jesus taught a lot about serving others, putting yourself last, and being humble. And when the shit got rough in our marriage, it was those lessons that reconnected us and saved us. It was those lessons that kept us from just giving up and going to find something else. Because ultimately we’re talking about a relationship with another human being, and that’s not something you just throw away when it loses its luster.

So we’re 24 years in, and while our relationship is still evolving and we’re still working on it, and we always will be, it’s still good and I couldn’t imagine not being married to Michelle.

Happy Anniversary babe.