News I Care Nothing About

I hate the news. I really do. Today’s news (and probably all news throughout time) is nothing more than drivel spun into controversy by a catchy and or shocking headline. Add a provocative photo and get your story to go “viral” and you might just win journalist of the year. It’s ridiculous and gives us an incredibly skewed sense of where the world is and where it’s headed.

With that, I decided to pick out some headlines today that are completely worthless.

New Discovery: Mayan Calendar Goes Well Past 2012

Yeah, who cares? The Mayans have been extinct for ages. Who cares what their office calendars looked like? All this story proves is that Archaeologists and news reporters were completely wrong about the last calendar they found.

Conservatives counter claims that Mitt Romney was a bully: Obama was even worse!

Dumbest story running today. I have news for you: Kids do stupid things. It’s part of growing up. It’s amazing to me that we’re talking about this at the same time the John Edwards trial is going on.

Zuckerberg’s Hoodie a ‘Mark of Immaturity,’ Analyst Says

You gotta be kidding me. Wall Street types must be the most stuck up, arrogant, self important jack-asses on the planet if they’re really ticked off that Zuck didn’t get all gussied up for them. Once again America focuses on superficial appearances instead of substance. Zuck will have the last laugh when he’s the richest man in the universe.

Controversial Time mag cover shows mom breastfeeding 3-year-old for story on extreme parenting

Yeah, so what. If you want to walk around with a kindergartner hanging from your teat, then so be it. It’s a free country. I think you’re crazy weird, but who cares what I think?

Alright, that’s all I have the patience for. Happy Friday everyone.