Rollercoaster

So we’re at that time of year when I fall into a bit of a depressing mood. It happens every year for me. I didn’t realize a pattern until about 5 years ago. Looking back now, I realize that most of the job changes I’ve had in my life took place in the winter. Interesting, no? Science has a name for this, but I just call it the winter time blues. And now I just push through it and don’t fret too much.

Today though I got some bad news from the doc which is going to make this season even suckier, and it’s bumming me out. All my blood levels are out of whack again, and at over 200lbs I’ve put on quite a bit of weight from being in the 190’s a year or so ago. *sigh*.

I’m telling you man, maintaining my fitness has proven to be a ridiculously hard endeavor. It shouldn’t be because all it takes in 60 lousy minutes of jumping or running a day and not putting garbage into my mouth, but never the less, the discipline escapes me. It probably hurts me too that I don’t look fat, and nobody would call me overweight, so that makes it easier for me to justify skipping a workout or having an few extra beers here and there. But my bloodwork says I’m not as healthy as I need to be, and so to get there I need a sustained focus and work ethic.

The Doc says to lower my carb intake and cut the alcohol. That sucks because I really, really, really love my beer. A lot. And I suppose I could try just cutting back, but that never really works for me. If I cut something completely out of my life, it’s much easier to know when I’m cheating.

The bad part of all this is not that I’m a few pounds heavier, it’s that it’s a continual area of failure in my life. This is one of the few things that I really have a hard time making permanent. And I really, really hate sucking at stuff.

So here’s to a renewed focus on fitness. Again.