One of the lessons life teaches you is that nothing is forever. Things change, people change, styles, attitudes, music, fashion…. everything changes. Even if you sat in a white room from birth until death, your view of, and feelings about, that white room would change over time. That’s just how we’re wired. We gather experiences, we age, and our viewpoint changes.
And so today I told our worship pastor I was stepping down from the worship team. And honestly, I don’t really have a full grasp on why. All I know is that things have changed. I’ve changed, the band has changed, the music has changed. And it’s simply no longer fun to me.
When I first started playing music, I knew even back then, 25 years ago, that I would never be a professional musician. Sure, you kind of kick the idea around, but deep down I knew I would never walk away from all responsibility and rely on something as fickle and unreliable as music to support myself and my family. And so I told myself then, that music was going to be my outlet. My stress reliever. I was going to use it as a means to blow off steam. I mean really, I’m a drummer, i get to hit crap with wood sticks and get praised for it! So that was going to be the type of drummer I would become. Whoever would watch me play, would know that I was having nothing less than an blast. And so that’s why I had to step down. Because I just wasn’t having a blast anymore.
It’s a big decision for me because I’ve been playing at this church for 13 years. I’ve recorded two albums with them. I’ve played literally hundreds of services for unknown thousands of people over the years. But as time moves on, eventually the “old guard” must move on as well.
When I first started playing at Clovis HIlls I was 30 years old. Many of the guys in the band were in their 40’s. And one by one as younger people came in with new energy and new ideas, the older guys, already having spent years busting their butts on the scene, moved on. It’s not really a bad thing. It’s just the way it is.
And so I think that’s where I am. I’ve been doing this for so long that I don’t really care about analyzing music or obsessing over technique anymore. I just want to get behind the kit and do what I know how to do.
So it’s been a good run, and I thank God for giving me the opportunity to serve his people for so long. Playing at Clovis Hills really saved me in many ways. I know they will continue to provide one of the best worship experiences around and I wish them the best.
So what’s next? That is the million dollar question. I just told an old friend of mine that I would never quit playing, and I don’t intend on letting my drums collect dust. I might do a little recording. I have a few gigs lined with with other friends so I’ll definitely do those. Or I might start looking for a new band to jam with. Maybe a rock band to play some outdoor festivals and stuff.