Call Me Farmer Ted!

That’s a Sixteen Candles reference for you youngsters.

n575577426_1743327_1543945Yeah so check it out, yesterday we harvested our first bounty from our backyard vegetable garden. I gotta say, I am stoked about this. I wasn’t sure what we were getting into with this garden thing. I’ve never been able to grow anything. Most of our outdoor pots are empty because the plants keep dying and all of our houseplants are plastic so I wasn’t expecting much. In fact, we’ve now resorted to planting cactus in places because I figure nobody can kill cactus. If I’m not even as nurturing as the freaking desert, then I should just give up the whole idea of living with nature right?

I did an incredible amount of research on this whole garden thing though. Ok, no I didn’t. I read two books. But they were BIG books man! And after all the crazy scientific information, I decided to go organic. That sounds all noble and hippie-ish and everything doesn’t it? When I think of organic gardening I think of a woman with hairy armpits and Birkenstocks growing lentils or something. No, what it really means is that I’m too cheap to go out and buy a bunch of fancy fertilizers and soil testers and crap. Well actually, that’s all I bought was crap. Steer crap to be accurate. It’s only like 95 cents a yard! So you mix this into your dirt and then pop your plants in, then add water and presto! Instant “organic gardner”.

So I had no idea how this would turn out, but so far so good! The zucchini are going NUTS! In fact, I’m going to have to pull a plant out because they are getting so big they are smothering my bell peppers. But we’ve got zucchini galore so I can do without one plant.

Anyway, our first zucchini was big enough to cut off and fry up yesterday. I gotta say it was good. It actually tasted like zucchini! And I’m still alive to share my experience! That’s a good thing. Now I can’t wait for the rest of my veggies to get big enough. The Bell Peppers are about half grown, the banana peppers are just started to show, my jalapenos are about fingernail size, and I have two tomatoes so far. I figure in another 3 to 4 weeks I should have a bountiful garden with more stuff than we can eat.

It’s encouraging and pretty exciting to grow your own food. I know it sounds corny, but it’s really a neat experience. I’ve decided that we’re going to expand our garden to four times the current size and start planting other good stuff like celery, carrots, lettuce, spinach, potatoes, and maybe corn, though I understand it’s kind of hard to grow.

Anyway, stay tuned for more adventures from farmer Dana. Now I just need to come up with a cool name for my “land”. Like The Ponderosa or Monticello or something.