I love technology. Always have. There’s something about the way computers and electronics work that fascinates me and draws me in. Yet despite the complexity of modern day computers, often it’s the simplest program that really makes me go “wow, that’s cool”. This is not necessarily one of those times, but I thought it was worth writing about anyway.

I have an Apple iPhone and up until now Apple has been pretty careful about what kinds of programs they allowed to be distributed for the iPhone. Recently though Apple created a new category for a new breed of high tech software. A type of software only the most hardcore programming geek could even comprehend, much less research, write, test and deploy. What is this category of digital delights I speak of?

The Fart Program.

Yes, the fart program. Programs that make your iPhone appear to fart. I say “appear” because obviously the iPhone has no buttocks and therefore cannot possibly launch an air biscuit or rip it’s knickers on it’s own. But for every problem, there’s a solution.  That’s where ingenuity and software comes to the rescue.

Apparently there’s a demand for air blasting algorithms as well because there are no less than nine fart programs for the iPhone now. Surely enough to liven up any church service, wedding, executive meeting, blind date, or dinner with the in-laws. These programs are as diverse as they are advanced with such “breaking” features as:

  • Security Fart – Blasts would be iPhone thieves with loud honkers, immediately drawing attention to their dastardly deed.
  • Position Detection – Allows an iPhone in your pocket to drop a floorboard lifter when you raise your leg.
  • Time Delay – Allows you to set a timer, then walk away from your phone before it fires a rhino stopper.

These are just a few of the awesome features that technology is finally able to bring to us. What a marvel life in the 21st century is! And it could not be possible without the miracle of the modern computer, and of course the hard work of some very, very dedicated programmers.

Check out the AppStore on your iPhone today!

UPDATE: Ok, just for the record (because my wife scolded me for this post), I did not buy any fart programs for my iPhone and this post was entirely sarcastic. Relax people!